Being an international student in America, I thought I knew much more about intercultural communication than others and this class would be easier for me. I thought I knew a lot what it was like to live in other country and meet with people from other cultures. I thought that was all about this class and I didn’t know any other aspect of this class.
However, actually I didn’t know at all. Even as international students, we all have different cultural backgrounds, we all speak in different first languages, and individuals are so different. Even from the same area, East Asia, Japan, China and Korea have somewhat different cultures even though we share the same part, too, Also, I still need to recognize the difference of American perspective and my own perspective. I learned a lot about American culture as I have spent one year there, but I don’t see it from perspectives of the people there and I see it from my Japanese cultural perspective. This class has taught me that there’s much more that I still don’t know and something that I’m not conscious with, and we all need to work for everybody to live peacefully.
I have learned that being open-minded is really important. I can accept the others and know their culture by doing that. If I can be open to others, we can learn from each other and tolerate our differences, and I wouldn’t hurt them. Being curious about them makes it easier to get to know them. Accepting not judging other’s ideas also helps us to be empathic. It’s important that not only me but also the others are open. If I’m judgmental to them, they wouldn’t be open-minded and they wouldn’t tell me about them honestly. Even if I don’t like the ideas, I can at least learn our differences.
It’s also nice that I have learned about issues and conflicts that we face. Intercultural communication is not always easy and fun, and it also carries risks. Even if we like to interact with people internationally, we might do some taboos that are not allowed in other’s culture if we don’t know it. As we communicate with others who have different cultural backgrounds, we need to know at least a little about their culture and their communication style. It is said that people in America communicate in a direct way, but people from Asia like me don’t. I might think that American people are rude when we talk with each other if I don’t know their different communication style from us, and Americans might think that I’m too ambiguous. Those misunderstanding cause conflicts and can hurt each other.
Even though I have finished this three weeks class, I still don’t know everything. This class never ends in me, and there will be always something to learn. I want to tell others what I have learned and what I’m learning about intercultural communication. We’re taking this class, but so many other people don’t know about what we have learned, and they don’t even know the existence of intercultural communication. Many people have stereotypes and hold prejudice or ethnocentrism about other cultures and the people. They don’t even realize it and they keep having those otherwise. It might be a little tiny thing to tell my family or friends about what I’ve learned. However, I’m hoping that there will be a lot more people realizing the benefits and issues that we all have and there will be less discrimination and intolerance about different culture and people. I also think that I need to broaden my eyes more to see the world. The world is not only about America and Japan which I spend my time, but there are almost two hundred countries and so many cultures.
Question: What is the best thing that you have learned from this class?
This is the last blog! Thank you for reading my blogs in spite of my insufficient English and it was fun to read yours. I learned a lot from each of you!
2010年6月12日土曜日
Activity #11 Conflict
An intercultural conflict that many of Japanese has struggled with is that stereotyping and having prejudice about other countries in Asia. There are so many stereotypes and prejudice that we need to deal with to live in a diverse society. Here, I have an example of a struggle of the Japanese with China.
Japan used to import so many things from China, such as Chinese characters, Confucianism, and many other technologies before. China has such a long history and Japanese people used to respect the country and the people so much. Now, the Japanese has forgotten to respect Chinese people and the country.
Japan has lost the Second World War against America and some other countries and it was controlled by American Army after that. Japan needed to recover from the devastation of the war and it needed help from America to restructure the country. It had a rapid economic growth and Japan became one of the powerful countries in the world. It welcomed Western cultures and it became much more modern than before war. It is said that the Japanese appreciated what America did for Japan after the war. They have come to think of Western countries with admiration and to think everything about West, especially about America, is good. They started despising other Asian countries because Japan was accepted by Western countries as one of the powerful countries economically.
On the other day, I was talking with my Japanese friends about my international friends from China. One of my friends said that he wouldn’t date a girl from China. Other girl said that she didn’t know if she could be good friends with people from China. There is so much news about imitation goods or characters in China broadcasted in Japan, and there was an incident which happened in China. A Chinese worker put some poison into dumplings that were exported to Japan and some people got sick because of it. My friends can’t get rid of these bad images of China. It’s true that those unfortunate events have occurred, but they have nothing to do with my friends. They are kind, hardworking, and they and I became really good friends. I was disappointed and felt sorry because my friends admire Japan as a good country and they love the people, too.
I think this conflict is dominating style which win/lose style reflects high concern for self and low concerns for others. Japan just thinks of advantages that if gains from Western countries and it left other Asian countries behind.
I don’t think all the Japanese has only negative images toward China, but I’m sure that so many people hold stereotypes and prejudice toward it. I assume one of the reasons is that media gives us only negative information about the country. They broadcast imitation news, incidents, and how poor villagers are, but not good things. People are too naive so that they believe those are only about China. If we could change the media structure and if they could give us many other perspectives of the country, I think people would have less stereotype and prejudice.
Another reason that I think of is that many Japanese people don’t have experience or interact with those people. Not everyone can go to China and interact with people there, so those who can’t experience have only one way to know about the country which is media and they believe it. If they could get to know each other with them actually, they will know that how good they are.
Question: What do you think is the best way to prevent people from having stereotypes?
Japan used to import so many things from China, such as Chinese characters, Confucianism, and many other technologies before. China has such a long history and Japanese people used to respect the country and the people so much. Now, the Japanese has forgotten to respect Chinese people and the country.
Japan has lost the Second World War against America and some other countries and it was controlled by American Army after that. Japan needed to recover from the devastation of the war and it needed help from America to restructure the country. It had a rapid economic growth and Japan became one of the powerful countries in the world. It welcomed Western cultures and it became much more modern than before war. It is said that the Japanese appreciated what America did for Japan after the war. They have come to think of Western countries with admiration and to think everything about West, especially about America, is good. They started despising other Asian countries because Japan was accepted by Western countries as one of the powerful countries economically.
On the other day, I was talking with my Japanese friends about my international friends from China. One of my friends said that he wouldn’t date a girl from China. Other girl said that she didn’t know if she could be good friends with people from China. There is so much news about imitation goods or characters in China broadcasted in Japan, and there was an incident which happened in China. A Chinese worker put some poison into dumplings that were exported to Japan and some people got sick because of it. My friends can’t get rid of these bad images of China. It’s true that those unfortunate events have occurred, but they have nothing to do with my friends. They are kind, hardworking, and they and I became really good friends. I was disappointed and felt sorry because my friends admire Japan as a good country and they love the people, too.
I think this conflict is dominating style which win/lose style reflects high concern for self and low concerns for others. Japan just thinks of advantages that if gains from Western countries and it left other Asian countries behind.
I don’t think all the Japanese has only negative images toward China, but I’m sure that so many people hold stereotypes and prejudice toward it. I assume one of the reasons is that media gives us only negative information about the country. They broadcast imitation news, incidents, and how poor villagers are, but not good things. People are too naive so that they believe those are only about China. If we could change the media structure and if they could give us many other perspectives of the country, I think people would have less stereotype and prejudice.
Another reason that I think of is that many Japanese people don’t have experience or interact with those people. Not everyone can go to China and interact with people there, so those who can’t experience have only one way to know about the country which is media and they believe it. If they could get to know each other with them actually, they will know that how good they are.
Question: What do you think is the best way to prevent people from having stereotypes?
2010年6月10日木曜日
Activity #10: How does your culture view relationships?
1. Who do the members of your culture consider to be part of their family?
Usually, persons who live in the same home are family members in my culture. If somebody says, “family,” that often means father, mother, and children. Grand parents can also be a part of family depending on the family, and they’re usually closely related. Boyfriends/girlfriends and friends usually are not considered to be a family member unless they get engaged officially. Cousins and uncles/aunts are not in immediate family but are close relatives.
2. What are some roles and responsibilities of specific family members?
In many cases, fathers and mothers work in this culture even though some mothers don’t work and stay work to take care of their home. Around the home, it’s still not equal between male and female. Mothers need to their housework even though they also work outside the home. Usually women prepare meals and men don’t do it. However, it is changing little by little, and younger couple is inclined to share the housework. I think there is a difference which role they play with the housework though. For example, if they need to clean their house, mothers clean up the kitchen, and fathers might clean their car and change electronic lights. The oldest brothers or sisters tend to need to be take care of their younger siblings.
3. Are family members encouraged to stay in the same house/area as their family after adolescence?
This is hard to answer, but it depends on their situation. If you need to leave home for college, it’s ok. If you can stay at home to go to college, it’s good too, since family members can be together and they also can save money. However, living by themselves is somewhat encouraged after while in college or when you start working. They need to learn how to be independent and how to live by own. Also, it depends on which family member encourages them. For instance, I left home come to the US, and my younger sister left home to go to university in Tokyo. It was hard to persuade them to allow us to go somewhere else for education, since they wanted us to stay at home near them. On the other side, my parents also felt they were going to miss us, but they also thought that it was important to learn to live by our own.
4. What are the cultural norms and taboos regarding dating and meeting people with whom to become romantically involved?
Many of Japanese people, especially elder generation, are still conservative about this. Younger generation can find their romantic partners anywhere, but usually elder people don’t like that their children or grand children getting married to whom from other countries, especially from Western countries. It is because they still remember the wars and they don’t have good memories about it. Even though we insist that it’s about the past, they just can’t get rid of strong impression of wars. Also, Japan was closed for a long time and it has been island country, people didn’t have so many connections with other countries. They don’t know how to interact with people from outside Japan. In younger generation, it is more acceptable to date with anyone as long as they are good.
5. How are marriage proposals conducted in your culture?
Many girls admire romantic proposals such as proposals in a fancy restaurant or at a place where has a beautiful night view. Or maybe, men might propose their girlfriends at a place where they always go on a date. Usually, men are supposed to ask their girlfriends to marry him while giving her an engagement ring.
6. What is a typical wedding like?
People in my culture usually have ceremony and wedding reception. There are mainly two kinds of wedding, Western style or Japanese style. If you choose Western style, you can have ceremony in a hotel or church. You go to temple for ceremony when you choose Japanese style. Family members, relatives, and close friends are supposes to be the guests. Afterward, they have a big reception party and brides can change their dress several times there. Even you have a Western ceremony, you can still try Japanese traditional kimono after dress. They have big dinner, some people give speeches, some friends may sing songs, and grooms and brides often read their letters to their parents.
7. How do members of the culture view divorce?
Divorce is supposed to be something that people can’t confess loudly or proudly. There might be bad rumors about it. We feel sorry if somebody gets divorce.
8. If divorce occurs, what are the rights of each partner?
In some case, children can choose which side to live with. Also, there are cases that only one of them has a right to live with children. For example, if they divorce because of husband’s violence, definitely he doesn’t have right to live with his children, but wife has one. Men might pay consolation money to their partners due to divorce.
9. What is the general opinion of the culture toward homosexuality?
Homosexuality is not so acceptable in my culture like the US. We just haven’t got used to it. Younger generation is more acceptable with it, and we sometimes have friends who are homosexual. However, elder generation might oppose it even though they don’t know much about but just because of prejudice.
10. How are the general perspectives of this culture the same/different from yours regarding gender roles?
Many people have come to think that both partners can work outside the home and should share the housework. However, there are still some men, regardless of their generation or age, who want their wives to stay at home and just take care of home and children or family members. Of course younger generation is more acceptable with their working wives, but there are also guys with the idea that women should stay at home. I want partners to be equal on everything. Even if women can work outside, still many of them need to do all the housework without help from their husbands. I just can’t image myself staying at home and taking care of it all day and I want to work and be treated like them.
Question: Is it acceptable to get married to someone from other country in your culture?
Usually, persons who live in the same home are family members in my culture. If somebody says, “family,” that often means father, mother, and children. Grand parents can also be a part of family depending on the family, and they’re usually closely related. Boyfriends/girlfriends and friends usually are not considered to be a family member unless they get engaged officially. Cousins and uncles/aunts are not in immediate family but are close relatives.
2. What are some roles and responsibilities of specific family members?
In many cases, fathers and mothers work in this culture even though some mothers don’t work and stay work to take care of their home. Around the home, it’s still not equal between male and female. Mothers need to their housework even though they also work outside the home. Usually women prepare meals and men don’t do it. However, it is changing little by little, and younger couple is inclined to share the housework. I think there is a difference which role they play with the housework though. For example, if they need to clean their house, mothers clean up the kitchen, and fathers might clean their car and change electronic lights. The oldest brothers or sisters tend to need to be take care of their younger siblings.
3. Are family members encouraged to stay in the same house/area as their family after adolescence?
This is hard to answer, but it depends on their situation. If you need to leave home for college, it’s ok. If you can stay at home to go to college, it’s good too, since family members can be together and they also can save money. However, living by themselves is somewhat encouraged after while in college or when you start working. They need to learn how to be independent and how to live by own. Also, it depends on which family member encourages them. For instance, I left home come to the US, and my younger sister left home to go to university in Tokyo. It was hard to persuade them to allow us to go somewhere else for education, since they wanted us to stay at home near them. On the other side, my parents also felt they were going to miss us, but they also thought that it was important to learn to live by our own.
4. What are the cultural norms and taboos regarding dating and meeting people with whom to become romantically involved?
Many of Japanese people, especially elder generation, are still conservative about this. Younger generation can find their romantic partners anywhere, but usually elder people don’t like that their children or grand children getting married to whom from other countries, especially from Western countries. It is because they still remember the wars and they don’t have good memories about it. Even though we insist that it’s about the past, they just can’t get rid of strong impression of wars. Also, Japan was closed for a long time and it has been island country, people didn’t have so many connections with other countries. They don’t know how to interact with people from outside Japan. In younger generation, it is more acceptable to date with anyone as long as they are good.
5. How are marriage proposals conducted in your culture?
Many girls admire romantic proposals such as proposals in a fancy restaurant or at a place where has a beautiful night view. Or maybe, men might propose their girlfriends at a place where they always go on a date. Usually, men are supposed to ask their girlfriends to marry him while giving her an engagement ring.
6. What is a typical wedding like?
People in my culture usually have ceremony and wedding reception. There are mainly two kinds of wedding, Western style or Japanese style. If you choose Western style, you can have ceremony in a hotel or church. You go to temple for ceremony when you choose Japanese style. Family members, relatives, and close friends are supposes to be the guests. Afterward, they have a big reception party and brides can change their dress several times there. Even you have a Western ceremony, you can still try Japanese traditional kimono after dress. They have big dinner, some people give speeches, some friends may sing songs, and grooms and brides often read their letters to their parents.
7. How do members of the culture view divorce?
Divorce is supposed to be something that people can’t confess loudly or proudly. There might be bad rumors about it. We feel sorry if somebody gets divorce.
8. If divorce occurs, what are the rights of each partner?
In some case, children can choose which side to live with. Also, there are cases that only one of them has a right to live with children. For example, if they divorce because of husband’s violence, definitely he doesn’t have right to live with his children, but wife has one. Men might pay consolation money to their partners due to divorce.
9. What is the general opinion of the culture toward homosexuality?
Homosexuality is not so acceptable in my culture like the US. We just haven’t got used to it. Younger generation is more acceptable with it, and we sometimes have friends who are homosexual. However, elder generation might oppose it even though they don’t know much about but just because of prejudice.
10. How are the general perspectives of this culture the same/different from yours regarding gender roles?
Many people have come to think that both partners can work outside the home and should share the housework. However, there are still some men, regardless of their generation or age, who want their wives to stay at home and just take care of home and children or family members. Of course younger generation is more acceptable with their working wives, but there are also guys with the idea that women should stay at home. I want partners to be equal on everything. Even if women can work outside, still many of them need to do all the housework without help from their husbands. I just can’t image myself staying at home and taking care of it all day and I want to work and be treated like them.
Question: Is it acceptable to get married to someone from other country in your culture?
Activity #9 American TV show
I tried to find any TV shows on Japanese TV programs, since sometimes they broadcast TV shows from the US. However, I couldn’t find any this time. Therefore, I borrowed a DVD from rental shop. I chose “The OC” because I had watched that show until I moved to the US. I didn’t remember where I stopped watching that show, so I didn’t know which episode to start again. I started with almost the end of the season three.
The story is located in Orange County, in California where many wealthy people live. In this episode that I watched, it’s the second semester in senior year in high school for Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer and they were waiting for their result if they could get in college. Everybody gets in the college that they want to go, expect for Seth. Seth and Summer were supposed to go to Brown University together since they are dating and they don’t want to be separated. Knowing that Summer didn’t want to go to Brown alone, Seth lies to everybody that he got in. To hide his lie, he again lies to Summer that he has changed his mind and he doesn’t like Brown anymore. Also, he tells her to go there by herself and break up with him.
In this show, everybody looks gorgeous. Students dress up even to go to classes, they always look so cute even when they wear jeans. Girls have beautiful bags and I thought it was such an American way to hold their files and notes in their hands not in their bags. It’s funny that my friend and I used to admire that way because we don’t usually do that in Japan.
They also live in a huge and gorgeous house. Their families are super rich. There is a big pool in their house and they have breakfast and dinner besides it. However, I realized that they didn’t have any server of chefs to get ready their meals, but they prepared their meals by themselves. In Ryan and Seth’s family, all the family members prepared their meals together one night. It is pretty nice since usually in Japan, not many boys and husbands help get ready to eat.
I found that they loved parties. Marissa is in a relationship with a punk guy and they attend a party with his friends. There is a loud music played in the garage. People there drink a lot of beer even though some of them are still in high school. One of the guys puts some sleeping pill into a beer to let a girl drink it. In addition to that pill, she is already drunk, so she passes out easily. When guys try to rape her, Marissa comes to rescue her. On the other hand, sweatshirts party is held on the other night and students are supposed to wear their college sweatshirt that they are getting in. There is a bon fire on the beach and students are having fun with their friends. We usually like to see those parties on TV since their parties are so much differnt from ours.
They often spend time with their boyfriend or girlfriend and want to be together all the time. Seth and Summer have decided that they want to go to Brown together even though Seth failed to get in, and Ryan and Sadie, his girlfriend, decide to go to Berkeley together even though she’s not going to be a student there. To m, their futures seem only about their being together with their partners. They have their own lives and they need to make a decision for themselves.
This TV show shows gorgeous American life in a rich place. They have huge and beautiful houses, they go to nice school, and they have nice jobs with high salary. Students like to have parties with their friends, and sometimes they oppose their parents. In my experience, it’s easy to believe this life style is true if we see this show even though it’s not. Some of my friends say that they admire this dramatic and so American life because TV show is the only way to see what American life is like.
Why do you think many TV show in the US is about wealthy people in California and Hollywood? Is it because people like or want gorgeous life style?
The story is located in Orange County, in California where many wealthy people live. In this episode that I watched, it’s the second semester in senior year in high school for Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer and they were waiting for their result if they could get in college. Everybody gets in the college that they want to go, expect for Seth. Seth and Summer were supposed to go to Brown University together since they are dating and they don’t want to be separated. Knowing that Summer didn’t want to go to Brown alone, Seth lies to everybody that he got in. To hide his lie, he again lies to Summer that he has changed his mind and he doesn’t like Brown anymore. Also, he tells her to go there by herself and break up with him.
In this show, everybody looks gorgeous. Students dress up even to go to classes, they always look so cute even when they wear jeans. Girls have beautiful bags and I thought it was such an American way to hold their files and notes in their hands not in their bags. It’s funny that my friend and I used to admire that way because we don’t usually do that in Japan.
They also live in a huge and gorgeous house. Their families are super rich. There is a big pool in their house and they have breakfast and dinner besides it. However, I realized that they didn’t have any server of chefs to get ready their meals, but they prepared their meals by themselves. In Ryan and Seth’s family, all the family members prepared their meals together one night. It is pretty nice since usually in Japan, not many boys and husbands help get ready to eat.
I found that they loved parties. Marissa is in a relationship with a punk guy and they attend a party with his friends. There is a loud music played in the garage. People there drink a lot of beer even though some of them are still in high school. One of the guys puts some sleeping pill into a beer to let a girl drink it. In addition to that pill, she is already drunk, so she passes out easily. When guys try to rape her, Marissa comes to rescue her. On the other hand, sweatshirts party is held on the other night and students are supposed to wear their college sweatshirt that they are getting in. There is a bon fire on the beach and students are having fun with their friends. We usually like to see those parties on TV since their parties are so much differnt from ours.
They often spend time with their boyfriend or girlfriend and want to be together all the time. Seth and Summer have decided that they want to go to Brown together even though Seth failed to get in, and Ryan and Sadie, his girlfriend, decide to go to Berkeley together even though she’s not going to be a student there. To m, their futures seem only about their being together with their partners. They have their own lives and they need to make a decision for themselves.
This TV show shows gorgeous American life in a rich place. They have huge and beautiful houses, they go to nice school, and they have nice jobs with high salary. Students like to have parties with their friends, and sometimes they oppose their parents. In my experience, it’s easy to believe this life style is true if we see this show even though it’s not. Some of my friends say that they admire this dramatic and so American life because TV show is the only way to see what American life is like.
Why do you think many TV show in the US is about wealthy people in California and Hollywood? Is it because people like or want gorgeous life style?
Activity #7 Nonverbal Communication
First of all, I’m sorry that I skipped posting activity #7. I thought I already did it. While doing this activity, I felt so bad so that I wouldn’t want to do the same one anymore. Any of them was not normal at all during conversation I had, and my friends felt awkward as well.
The first one I tried was staring at them during the conversation with one of my close friends. We hanged out at night for dinner with some other friends but we needed to go home later. When we were about to say goodbye to go home, one of my friend realized that she had missed her last train to her home. So, I decided to invite her to come over to my home and sleep there so that she can go home in the next morning. We were excited about it because we thought we could talk all night. After getting ready to sleep, I was on my bed and she was on the futon on the floor. We started talking about the dinner that we had with other friends and, and I started looking at her eyes while we were lying on the bed and futon. She first didn’t say anything about it and she seemed not to notice that I was having eye contact constantly. She seemed to want to look away and tried to be distracted with something that she could see in my room. Therefore, I kept talking and started to talk about something different to get her attention. Maybe this was interesting to her and she looked at me again. However, it was so hard not to try to laugh and finally I started laughing. She asked me what was so funny but I still didn’t answer. When almost two minutes passed, I told her that I was doing my assignment after finishing talking about our topic. She told me that she felt there was something wrong with me or she thought I was going to say something really important but I couldn’t. Then, she asked me what class the assignment for and we talked about this class.
On the other day, I was with another close friend to wait for my mother to pick us up. We were up to go home after we had birthday party for our friend. We were standing near a bus stop and there was a kind of wall. We were talking about my friend that we met coincidentally at a restaurant before we left and I tried to get closer to her against the wall. She told me that I was too close to her while laughing and asked me why and if there was a bug or dirt on her jacket to pick away. I just said, “Nothing.” She moved to the other side a little bit, but I failed to corner her. When I debriefed, she was glad that there was nothing wrong and told me that how weird this assignment was.
The hardest one for me was not having any eye contact during the conversation. I did it with my mother at home. I pretended that I was texting or checking mixi which is kind of Japanese Facebook or whatever we could do with cell phone while she was talking. I just nodded my head and said like ah-huh or something but had no eye contact with her. I could tell that she was getting irritated with me by the way she talked because I looked like I wasn’t listening to her even though I had another nonverbal communication. She asked me if I was listening to her seriously. I felt so bad. I wanted to stop this assignment after a few seconds. However, I kept pretending to be too interested with my phone. Two minutes were too long not to look at her eyes to show her that I was listening to her. Finally I debriefed, and she told me how bad it was. She thought I had no interest in her story and even I was fed up with my younger sister since we were talking about some issues with her.
Having too much eye contact and getting too closer could be funny to do even though they are still weird, but having eye contact hurts others and I don’t want to try this anymore. However, it was interesting how I and they felt when I did this assignment.
Some people and books say that Asian people don’t look at others when they are communicating. However, many Asian students including me insist that it’s not true and we have eye contact while communicating with others even though it might be shorter than people in America have. We need to show others, especially older people than us, respect and show that we are listening to them; otherwise it would be very rude. Do you believe that Asian people don’t have eye contact if you have ever talked with any of them? Why do you think people still say that even though it’s not true and many Asian people don’t believe it?
The first one I tried was staring at them during the conversation with one of my close friends. We hanged out at night for dinner with some other friends but we needed to go home later. When we were about to say goodbye to go home, one of my friend realized that she had missed her last train to her home. So, I decided to invite her to come over to my home and sleep there so that she can go home in the next morning. We were excited about it because we thought we could talk all night. After getting ready to sleep, I was on my bed and she was on the futon on the floor. We started talking about the dinner that we had with other friends and, and I started looking at her eyes while we were lying on the bed and futon. She first didn’t say anything about it and she seemed not to notice that I was having eye contact constantly. She seemed to want to look away and tried to be distracted with something that she could see in my room. Therefore, I kept talking and started to talk about something different to get her attention. Maybe this was interesting to her and she looked at me again. However, it was so hard not to try to laugh and finally I started laughing. She asked me what was so funny but I still didn’t answer. When almost two minutes passed, I told her that I was doing my assignment after finishing talking about our topic. She told me that she felt there was something wrong with me or she thought I was going to say something really important but I couldn’t. Then, she asked me what class the assignment for and we talked about this class.
On the other day, I was with another close friend to wait for my mother to pick us up. We were up to go home after we had birthday party for our friend. We were standing near a bus stop and there was a kind of wall. We were talking about my friend that we met coincidentally at a restaurant before we left and I tried to get closer to her against the wall. She told me that I was too close to her while laughing and asked me why and if there was a bug or dirt on her jacket to pick away. I just said, “Nothing.” She moved to the other side a little bit, but I failed to corner her. When I debriefed, she was glad that there was nothing wrong and told me that how weird this assignment was.
The hardest one for me was not having any eye contact during the conversation. I did it with my mother at home. I pretended that I was texting or checking mixi which is kind of Japanese Facebook or whatever we could do with cell phone while she was talking. I just nodded my head and said like ah-huh or something but had no eye contact with her. I could tell that she was getting irritated with me by the way she talked because I looked like I wasn’t listening to her even though I had another nonverbal communication. She asked me if I was listening to her seriously. I felt so bad. I wanted to stop this assignment after a few seconds. However, I kept pretending to be too interested with my phone. Two minutes were too long not to look at her eyes to show her that I was listening to her. Finally I debriefed, and she told me how bad it was. She thought I had no interest in her story and even I was fed up with my younger sister since we were talking about some issues with her.
Having too much eye contact and getting too closer could be funny to do even though they are still weird, but having eye contact hurts others and I don’t want to try this anymore. However, it was interesting how I and they felt when I did this assignment.
Some people and books say that Asian people don’t look at others when they are communicating. However, many Asian students including me insist that it’s not true and we have eye contact while communicating with others even though it might be shorter than people in America have. We need to show others, especially older people than us, respect and show that we are listening to them; otherwise it would be very rude. Do you believe that Asian people don’t have eye contact if you have ever talked with any of them? Why do you think people still say that even though it’s not true and many Asian people don’t believe it?
2010年6月6日日曜日
Transition
It’s been a year since I moved to the States even though I’m currently in Japan for summer. Moving to the US was the first transition ever. Because I went to English language school in St. Paul last summer, I lived there with my host family for more than three months. I was homesick on the very first day. I couldn’t believe that I was far away from my home and I couldn’t talk with my family easily because of fourteen hour time difference. However, I was OK after I cried a lot with my host mother. I think I was depressed also because I was too tired due to the long flights and jet lag.
In the US, everything was new to me. Although it was not the first time to come to this country, it was the first time to actually live there. I was surrounded by people talking in English, I mean not my mother language, and people who have totally different culture from mine. I found it so interesting, everything from just eating to hanging out. Eating outside like every night was fun to do (of course food was different from Japanese one too), and I was surprised by how cheap the movie ticket was and the number of fast food restaurants.
The harder transition was when I moved to the dorm. I needed to say goodbye with my host family and friends, and it was the saddest goodbye I’d ever had. I kept crying almost for one week and kept myself in my room. I was also afraid to meet new people because they were not my host family but the students. Even after my roommate moved in, we didn’t get along with well. I don’t know if it’s because I’m from Japan and I didn’t know how to communicate well with American people or there might have been other reasons. I couldn’t help comparing the fun time with my host family and the hard time in a new place with my roommate.
I learned a lot, especially communication way with new people. I needed to adjust to American way of living, communicating, and maybe little things like asking for a help. Of course, it always makes me strong to live without family in a foreign country. Now I’m not surprised and scared by just a little thing since I already got surprised with so many things.
Questions: If you could move to a new place now, where would you like to go? It can be anywhere in the States or other country, too.
What is the hardest part of moving to a new place to you?
In the US, everything was new to me. Although it was not the first time to come to this country, it was the first time to actually live there. I was surrounded by people talking in English, I mean not my mother language, and people who have totally different culture from mine. I found it so interesting, everything from just eating to hanging out. Eating outside like every night was fun to do (of course food was different from Japanese one too), and I was surprised by how cheap the movie ticket was and the number of fast food restaurants.
The harder transition was when I moved to the dorm. I needed to say goodbye with my host family and friends, and it was the saddest goodbye I’d ever had. I kept crying almost for one week and kept myself in my room. I was also afraid to meet new people because they were not my host family but the students. Even after my roommate moved in, we didn’t get along with well. I don’t know if it’s because I’m from Japan and I didn’t know how to communicate well with American people or there might have been other reasons. I couldn’t help comparing the fun time with my host family and the hard time in a new place with my roommate.
I learned a lot, especially communication way with new people. I needed to adjust to American way of living, communicating, and maybe little things like asking for a help. Of course, it always makes me strong to live without family in a foreign country. Now I’m not surprised and scared by just a little thing since I already got surprised with so many things.
Questions: If you could move to a new place now, where would you like to go? It can be anywhere in the States or other country, too.
What is the hardest part of moving to a new place to you?
2010年6月4日金曜日
Activity #6 Language In the United States
I thought this activity was going to be fun when I saw the map of America, but I found out soon that it was kind of stressful to me. I did so bad with the first one; guessing which part the speaker is from in the States. I could hardly distinguish the dialects. I didn’t know any traits depending on the area, so I tried very hard. All I know about English language in the US is the different ways of saying drinks like soft drink, coke, pop and so on. Japanese language also has dialect depending on the area, north to south, so I thought this could apply to the languages in the US as well.
In Japan, people from north tend not to open their mouths widely and pronounce words very differently from the people in middle or southern area because it’s freezing in the north in winter. It’s really hard to understand what they are saying. Therefore, I guessed people from north in the US also spoke in the same way. However, it didn’t work. I think I choose the one that I couldn’t catch well because of my incomplete English proficiency but not due to the traits of north dialects. Both of the answers that I chose for north were wrong.
In the central area in Japan, like Tokyo, people speak the standard language, and people usually speak this on TV and radio show. They are supposed not to have any accent. People can understand this language no matter where they are from. Therefore, I guessed that people in the middle in the US also speak the standard language. However, I did the opposite thing from the first one. I chose the answers that I could understand what they were saying. Again this was not due to their dialects, but because of my English proficiency.
For the second one; guessing which word the speaker is saying, I did better than the first one. I guessed like the following; Block: black, socks: sacks, desk: desk, buses: buses, and for the word grade, I had no idea. The last one even sounded like croix, and the phrase sounded like St. Croix to me. The vowels were very hard to listen and distinguish. I think I could do better if I listen to the context besides just these words. It was a little hard to distinguish because I could only listen to what they say. We couldn’t see the faces and follow the move of mouths. I always try to read mouths while having eye contact when I communicate in English.
I was studying English in Minnesota last summer, and I’m learning English in Wisconsin since I go to school there. However, I’ve never heard of people saying that there are difference between the ways people talk in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Since English is my second language, and I have hardly heard of other dialects in the United States, the English in Wisconsin is the standard language to me. I can’t understand the differences depending on the area people are from, since I think that they are speaking the words that I don’t know if I don’t follow or understand their conversation.
This activity was struggling to me but I did find that it was interesting to know the different ways people talk and pronounce words.
Questions: Do you usually find differences when you talk to or listen to people from south or west in the US?
Do you have any words that people use in Wisconsin but not in another area?
In Japan, people from north tend not to open their mouths widely and pronounce words very differently from the people in middle or southern area because it’s freezing in the north in winter. It’s really hard to understand what they are saying. Therefore, I guessed people from north in the US also spoke in the same way. However, it didn’t work. I think I choose the one that I couldn’t catch well because of my incomplete English proficiency but not due to the traits of north dialects. Both of the answers that I chose for north were wrong.
In the central area in Japan, like Tokyo, people speak the standard language, and people usually speak this on TV and radio show. They are supposed not to have any accent. People can understand this language no matter where they are from. Therefore, I guessed that people in the middle in the US also speak the standard language. However, I did the opposite thing from the first one. I chose the answers that I could understand what they were saying. Again this was not due to their dialects, but because of my English proficiency.
For the second one; guessing which word the speaker is saying, I did better than the first one. I guessed like the following; Block: black, socks: sacks, desk: desk, buses: buses, and for the word grade, I had no idea. The last one even sounded like croix, and the phrase sounded like St. Croix to me. The vowels were very hard to listen and distinguish. I think I could do better if I listen to the context besides just these words. It was a little hard to distinguish because I could only listen to what they say. We couldn’t see the faces and follow the move of mouths. I always try to read mouths while having eye contact when I communicate in English.
I was studying English in Minnesota last summer, and I’m learning English in Wisconsin since I go to school there. However, I’ve never heard of people saying that there are difference between the ways people talk in Minnesota and Wisconsin. Since English is my second language, and I have hardly heard of other dialects in the United States, the English in Wisconsin is the standard language to me. I can’t understand the differences depending on the area people are from, since I think that they are speaking the words that I don’t know if I don’t follow or understand their conversation.
This activity was struggling to me but I did find that it was interesting to know the different ways people talk and pronounce words.
Questions: Do you usually find differences when you talk to or listen to people from south or west in the US?
Do you have any words that people use in Wisconsin but not in another area?
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